fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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