Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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