my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
