marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
