His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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