...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
