Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
