? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
