Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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