i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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