my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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