he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
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Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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