you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize