Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This house was built for laser tag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
