Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
