so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
