So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
