Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just gargled with NyQuil
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
