Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
