it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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