she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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