i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it hurts more in the daytime
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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