Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
