i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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