3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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