OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
