We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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