I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When are your genitals available?