I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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