i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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