The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
