I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
