I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
