mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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