Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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