her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
