Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
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It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize