he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
