You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
