Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
