He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride