I'm retarded. Again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
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Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him