This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle