whats a polygalesbian?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.