I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
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New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.