I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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