You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
