Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
