It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
