I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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