I think I just saw someone hide a body.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
