sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
