just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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