I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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