I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
