I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
