i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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