yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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