well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
