I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
