I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
