We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
