We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
