therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
