from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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