Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
