whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
