he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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