I'm really into asian looking animals
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
